I believe I have told you about my education and full time job experience, but I haven't told you about my part time job experience. You know, when you are a student, you try to make some money to spend for some stupid shit that you usually regret, like buying some expensive shit for your girlfriend who left a week after that, or fancy nice pants that costs fuckin' much but you cannot wear that any more 'cause you get fat like a motherfucker.
Anyways, I was working to make some money. I used to spend those money for mainly drinking. You know, being social is pretty good thing. Talking about drinking, I used to work at a Japanese style bar or just simply izakaya. That place is really small, like could only have 15 people maximum. It is like pretty traditional Japanese style drinking place, I mean like the master looks kind of scary but really nice old guy, and he cooks really good chicken BBQ or yakitori, and all the customers are like tired old "salary man" (means like basically non talented make money for barely living guys) or "freeter" (means like dudes with no job but with "I love fuckin', drinkin' and Gamblin'"motto ). So it was pretty fun to watch those losers.
The master, who owns that place has a wife, who is so much younger than himself, and really good looking chick. I was always wondering why they wer together. You know, if he is a really famous actor who makes lots of money, I could take his fluffy dick if I was a girl, but he is just a owner of a small bar. I don't know what attracted her, but they are together, and they worked together. One day, when I went up to the bar to work, his wife was not there. I was wondering, 'cause she's never away from work. So I asked him where she went, and he was like "she went her home. Her grandfather is in critical situation", and I was like oh my god that's really bad!
Few days later, she is not coming back yet. So I told him like "seems like her grandfather is pretty bad" and then he comes like "yeah". He looked so depressed to me, so I feel really sorry. Yeah, who could be happy when his step dad is dying, I thought like that.
Few weeks later, she wasn't back yet. So I asked my co-worker why it was taking so long. He was like "you didn't know?" I was like what? He told me like "His wife had run away, 'cause she got fed up with him". I was like "DAMN, that SUCKS!"
Yeah, it sucks. He is really good guy, but living with him together is probably a different thing. He still is running his bar. I don'y know about his bed technic, but his chicken BBQ is the best in the world.
Chinese people never hesitate to spit on the street. I was wondering why they do that. You know, everybody thinks it's nasty thing. I bet even those Chinese people agree on that. But they keep doing it. Why? I have reached some conclusion today.
We all spit. Yeah, I sipt, you spit, your mom spits too. But we just don't spit in public. Man, Chinese people spit every where. I went to Nanjing Massacle museum the other day (it was pretty unpleasant experience, but really interesting place. Well, I never talk shit about those kind of nasty history). Anyways, that place is actually where it happened. We could walk around the yard right, and I saw fuckin' Chinese dude who spitted on the yard. I was like damn, show some respect sometimes!
I don't think every Chinese people are like that, but I start getting why they spit so much. Think about when you want to spit out. Guys, you must have spitted when you are in a bathroom and pissing. You try to release your piss, and you spit while you are waiting. Why do we do that? Because when you stare at your dick, you have to breath the air coming out of the toilet. Yeah, it stinks. That's when you spit.
People want to spit out when they smell something bad, or taste something fucked up, or see something really nasty. And Chinese street got all that. Just walking on the street gives you unpleasant smell that you have never smelled, and that smell comes to your mouth somehow and you start tasting that smell. On the other hand, you see lots of fucked up shit on the street, dirty something you don't even wanna know. Yeah, that makes me wanna spit out.
Ah, I see, that's why they keep spitting. But you knwo what, when I see you spit, that makes me wanna spit, 'cause it's fucking nasty!
I'm in China as ya'll know, and I feel I'm kind of lonely here, 'cause I don't have many Japanese friends in China. Probably that is because I cannot speak Chinese, but if I have whole a lot of Jappy friends here, I would not feel any loneliness at all. I have bunch of co-workers who can speak English, but I still feel more comfortable being with J-friends. Probably some of you guys have had the same kind of feeling before.
However, when you are in a foreign country, you somehow see people from your country as "enemy". You go like "What the fuck is he doing in here? I'm the Jap leader of this region!" And show off how many local friends you have with talking loud and pretend to talk like gangsta and shit. "Hey Mike! What's up ma wigga!? Man, I went to da club right, and hook up some hot ass bitches! I was like DAMN, look at their ass!" "What's wrong T? You don't talk like that"
That's true man. When you come to Japan and find any American dude, you would say like "dude, he is a fuckin' loser" without knowing him at all. No matter who he is, he looks like a loser to you. But once you get to know each other, those relationship goes pretty deep. Not like "gay" deep, but I mean "good" relationship. You all have same kind of feeling and lonliness in a foreign country, so you understand the other dude's feeling, and the other dude understands you too.
Just like that, meeting people from your country in a foreign country is really interesting. Even if the guy you met is really fucked up nerd who haven't even held hand with any bitches except his mom, you can forgive him when you are in a foreign country. But you would never hang out with him when you go back to your country.
【Chris Rock's Joke】
I dropped out of school. Dropped out. That's alright. Got myself GED. You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.
You know GED is bull shit. Let me get it straight. I can make it 4 years in 6 hours.
You get your GED, someone always get on my nerve if I go I ain't go to collage, "slow dow". I think it is obvious high school has busted my ass.
Can't go to no collage with no GED. The only collage you can go with no GED, community collage.
You know why its called community collage? 'cause anybody in a community can go. Crackhead cracker just come on in!
Community collage is like a disco with books. "Here is ten dollars, get my learn on!"
高校は途中でやめたんだ。中退だな。でもまぁいいんだ。GEDを取ったからさ。GEDって何の略か知ってるか？Good Enough Diploma （生きてくのにギリギリの学位）だぜ。（笑うところ）
＊GED：General Educational Developmentの略。主に高校を中退、または高校に行かなかった人のために大学進学を容易にするためのテスト。
要するにGEDというシステムと、コミュニティーカレッジというやつを馬鹿にしたジョークです。学がないと苦労するような社会を皮肉ってるともいえますかね。Chris Rock、最近では結構色々な映画に顔を出す、「Funniest Man」とすらいわれる黒人コメディアンです。黒人コメディアン特有の攻撃的な部分もあり、白人コメディアン的な社会的な部分もあり、バランスの取れたジョークを飛ばしてくれます。でも映画だといまいち面白くないのは何でだろう・・・あとDef Comedy Jamにホストで登場したとき、一回やけに客の受けが悪くていまいち～、とか思ったことがありました。でも独特の甲高い声、愛嬌のある表情がどこか憎めない面白いやつです。
I went to karaoke last weekend. Chinese karaoke is a bit different from Japanese karaoke. First of all, you gotta choose from normal karaoke or karaoke with girls. My colleagues keep asking me like "You wanna go to normal karaoke, or karaoke with girls?" with strangely smiling. I said "pure karaoke", and they looked disappointed about it.
Anyways, we went one without no bitches, and basically drank there. We didn't really sing, but we just drank and played some weird drinking games. I went there with two other Japanese colleaues, and about 10 English speaking Asians, and guys from Hong Kong were trying to teach us how to play the games and shit. Basically only I could speak English, so I had to translate all the game instructions and shit to explain the other Japanese colleagues.
I said we didn't really sing, but some guys were singing non stop. So the room was quite loud, since amplified singing voice were going on. So I had to speak louder than that voice to explain those Japanese Colleagues. It went for about 4-5 hours. I was fuckin' dead. My voice got fucked up even though I didn't sing one song!
As for the stupid drinking games, that actually was pretty funny to look at. They go like "MAAAAHHH! TAAAHH! MATAHHHH!!!" Dude, I don't even know what the fuck you are yelling about, but you guys look just like lots of retarded people are cumming together.
That actually was pretty fun to play too. Thanks for my colleagues.
Maybe next time, you need to learn Japanese drinking style. "Shut up, drink, drink, drink, start talking shit about your boss, drink, drink, start talking shit about society and shit (but actually it doesn't make sense no more at that point) , drink, talk shit about people around, start going to bathroom once a minute, and still drink, drink, drink... and past out, miss the last train. And the next morning, you say "I'm not gonna drink again"
You know, when you go to restaurant with your buddies, you order and eat, and after finish eating, you hang out with them for a while. After for a while, they all get silent and the atmosphere gets kind of like "ready to go". So one of them say like "Alright, let's go"
I like that. I like to say "OK, let's go", 'cause that makes me feel like I am a captain of the team here. Especially when the other fellows are like "that's what I was about to say" and get ready to go out. I'm like "Yeah, I'm controling you fools!"
But it's rinky though. If you say "Let's go", but the other guys don't actually wanna leave yet, that makes you look like an ass. It is like when you say "let's take a picture!" If other dudes are not too excited about that, you feel like you are fucking idiot. But if other people are like "Yeah, let's do that!! Hey, use my camera too!", you feel like you are a motherfucking hero.
Before finishing the story about my roomy in China, let me talk about some fucked up experiences on roomies that I have had before. First off, I had 2 Japanese roommates when I was working for the last company. Both of them are Japanese male, who look like haven't got laid before. I don't wanna talk about one of them, 'cause he is too fucked up to talk about here, so let me tell you about the other guy.
He is fucking drunk every single night. Even on monday night, he drunk 4-5 or maybe more 500ml can of beer. And he doesn't eat much. Basically his dinner is beer and some chips. Well, that's pretty healthy diet right there. Anyways, he drinks beer and smokes a lot, so his room is really really stinky. I haven't smell anything like that, but it is really unpleasant smell. Plus he slept in the room which was located near the house door, so that makes it seems like whole goddamn house smells like his nasty smell. What if I hook up a girl and try to take her home? "Oh my god, what is this smell? I ain't fuck in such a stinky ass house bitch!" The whole shit makes me smell like himself. Ain't cool at all.
Also, he himself smells worse than the room. It is like the blended smell of piss after beer and burned lung. And when he gets sweat, oh my god, you can't even imagine. It's like anchovy's cunt!
Anyways, he is relatively good guy. We went out to drink sometimes. But the most fucked up experience I have had with him, shit let me tell you right here. After work, we both were chilling in each others room, and I had something to talk to him, so went up to his stinky room. It was kind of silent so I thought he was sleeping, so I gently knocked the door. He was like "Yeah??" and "Come in", so I slowly opened the door and started talking without paying attention what's going on in there. He looked a bit strange and really uncomfortable having myself, so I felt something was wrong there. He in some reason didn't wanna come out of his blanket and shit, and his cheeks were kind of red. And the TV was on, and I shifted the sight to the TV, and it shows, oh my god, hard core PORNO! Now I figure it out. He was jacking off!
He was like "well, you know, it was pretty good timing. I almost cum" Well, thanks for sharing jerk off stinky moron! I'm not saying jacking off is bad thing. But he could say "wait" or maybe pretend to be sleeping or something.
Anyways, that was pretty fucked up. Catching roommate's jack off. And he told me he was about to cum. At least better than cuming with his roommates face... "I'm cumming cumming!! .... oh, hi, T... AHH..... I cum...Thanks for helping me T"
Shit, I'm puking
I have a roommate here in China. He is a Japanese guy, thank god. He is kind of shy guy at first, but after the light is off, his pillow talk is fucking unstoppable. He keeps talking, answering questions without being asked (lol). When he is awake, he is pretty shy guy, doesn't talk much, not like bad ass type of guy, but once he lays down and room gets dark, I'm like "Fuck, shut up man! Save the talking for day time. I wanna sleep!"
So I sometimes pretend to sleep while he keeps talking. But he is fucking off the hook in the dark room. He doesn't care if I'm sleeping or dying or nothing. He just talks.
Yesterday, he started talking as usual. I was like "yeah, uh-huh, cool, and then? Oh my god..." And when I was about to fall asleep, the conversation gets a bit serious. He was like "I was stalking a girl"... I was like "What the fuck!?" and got wide awake and started to pay attention to him. And he started his stalking life style...
Actually he was joking about "stalking" part, but he somehow wanted to tell me about his "girl" part. He does not look like a pimping guy like myself. but he actually has some fucked up experiences on bitches. First of all, he has had affair with a married woman (He is a single 26 years old guy). He told me how horney she was, and when he met her for the first time, she grab his dick... I mean his arm and took him to "Love hotel" which we Japs call hotels for purely fucking. Once you get there, basically all you do is FUCK. That's all. Doesn't matter if there is a love in it or not. Anyways, they went there and spent some time together, and yeah, some nasty shit happened there.
Shit, too much to write about my pimping roomy. I'll be back with that soon
Happy new year everybody! Well, my new year was really happy and fun until the 3rd of January, because, yeah, I'm back in FDC! (Fuckin' Dirty China!) It was pretty good start. I was supposed to call one of my collagues, because he told me to do so. So I thought he is gonna pick me up and let me stay at his place or something. You would think like that. Well, at least you would expect to meet him some where and have dinner or something right? Anyway, before I get to the point, I had some other trouble. I could not figure how to make a phone call. I had some coins with me and tried pay phone, but didn't work. Some stupid Chinese lady is talking by herself, probably saying like "you are doing all wrong. China is unusually fucked up. Your Japanese way doesn't work here"
That always happens. Making phone calls in foreign countries are fucking hard. It is just a phone call! Why can't it be really simple like "put a coin and push the number"?
Finally I asked a airport lady who luckily could speak English. She told me that I had to buy "Telephone Card" and use some "specific phone" and "Dial 0 before the number I have". How the fuck could I know that shit!?!!?!?!?!?! Why you guys make it so damn complicated!! It's just a damn phone call!!
Plus, to my buddy, did you think I would figure out all this without asking anybody?? Why didn't you tell me how to make a phone call??? Oh my god. I hate China more than ever!
Oh, the stroy continues. Wait for the next column!